#45against45 is Well Intentioned, but Problematic
I would like to preface this by saying I am not coming to you as a perfect ally, or even someone that believes we can assign ourselves that label. Nor am I perfect in my journey to dismantle my own internalized racism, and definitely not as a white woman. However, I have learned something, and we need to have a talk.
As exit polls began to roll in it became clear that Black women carried the 2020 election. When you look at places like Georgia, with an astounding 92% of Black women voting for Joe Biden, it drives home the stark reality that not only did 55% of white women vote for Donald Trump, but this number managed to increase from 2016.
After years of the most powerful politicians in our country throwing out the dog whistles in favor of foghorns, it is understandable that we would like to create distance between ourselves and “other white women.” White women who so openly vote against their own interests and the rights of BIPOC and other marginalized members of our community.
It is time for us to hold ourselves and other white people accountable.
Many years ago I saw a tweet by a woman of color who said something to the effect of, “white people, come and take care of your own” and my initial gut reaction was upset, “My own? I don’t identify with them.” And herein lies the problem, this separation between us and them.
In 2019 I attended a talk by a woman named Ruth King. Ruth King is the founder of the Mindful of Race Institute, a writer, educator, activist, and a gifted speaker. In her book, Mindful of Race, and this 2018 interview, she points out that white people tend to view racially charged events as one-off incidents or sad accidents, a star, versus seeing them as inherently linked events, or what can be described as a constellation.
Viewing racially charged incidents as isolated occurrences, as opposed to being manifestations of a web of problems, undermines the work of dismantling racism in ourselves and society.
All of these “isolated incidents” have greater implications when we can view all of them in a more inclusive context. Because whiteness in the U.S. is the default standard for what is “acceptable”, white people often do not realize that our ability, and even our proclivity, to identify microaggressions or hate crimes as isolated is a function of our privilege.
Because non-white demographics are forced to assimilate, they don’t have the ability to remove themselves from seeing the constellation of events that take place around and to them. The fact that their names will be discriminated against, someone may try and touch their hair, compare them to food, or ask them “Where are you from” should be sufficient in showing that it is high time for white people to come and “take care of our own.”
The microaggressions are not isolated, neither are the waves of police killings across the nation which disproportionately affect bodies of color. Hate crimes have reached their highest level in a decade, according to a 2020 FBI report, the data backs up what Black voices have been saying for decades.
This is a systemic problem. Please listen.
The “45against45" hashtag that popped up on TikTok, Twitter, and some Facebook groups is the perfect example of the white feminism and white saviorship that needs to be flushed out. Generally speaking, those of us who work hard to reject racism in our daily lives acknowledge that we cannot change other people, but we do need to name the instances of their racism as part of the constellation that we belong to.
Commonly we see well intentioned white people retort with cries of “not me”, “I don’t identify with that”, or “I’m not one of them.” When these comments are said in response to Black voices it is purely to serve white comfort, it shifts the focus from the real and valid experiences of systematically oppressed perspectives and moves the spotlight back on to whiteness. Though well intentioned, this causes harm.
If you feel like someone has said something doesn’t apply to you, you don’t need to respond. Not everything is about you.
Center Black Voices
When engaging in conversations about race, instead of sharing how we feel, we can choose to center voices that may not be heard otherwise. If you aren’t sure whose voices those could be, seek them out. There are boundless resources available from Black writers, just look. Reading White Fragility is great, but there is much more to learn than what can be shared by other white people.
Disclaimer: Do not go asking your Black friends what you can do to be anti-racist. This is not their emotional labor. If you have non white friends who want to engage in these conversations with you, that’s great, but they don’t owe you anything.
Notice When You are Triggered
Honestly, this is just good life advice. If you feel the urge to rush to your own defense it is probably a good indication that is an area that needs work. Listen without the intent of responding.
Be Willing to Mess Up and Take Criticism
Stumbling and learning is better than preserving white comfort. If you are dismantling your own racism you will make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. When you are called out for making a mistake or inadvertently causing harm, choose to pivot to learn instead of reacting in a defensive way. Admit when you’re wrong.
Don’t Expect Gratitude
Do anti-racism work without any expectation of recognition. You probably won’t get it, and it isn’t warranted anyway. Having basic human decency and advocating for an equitable society is the bare minimum. You’re not a savior.
Be Quiet. Listen.
This is just another reminder to center Black voices.
If you have identified as one of the 45% of white women who rejected fascism in the 2020 election, it is true you were on the right side of history. The problem remains that we have work to do with the 55% of white women who did not. Our Grandmothers, Mothers, sisters, teachers, friends, colleagues, and strangers, women who voted against human rights in greater numbers than four years prior, we are accountable for them.
We do not deserve any kind of pat on the back.
It is time to listen and realize that which is not directly our faults is still our responsibility. White people created systemic racism, we are centuries behind in dismantling it.
